Meghan Markle’s entry into the Royal Family was meant to be a breath of fresh air. But according to new claims in ‘Yes, Ma’am: The Secret Life of Royal Servants’ by royal author Tom Quinn, her transition from Hollywood to Kensington Palace was far from smooth, leaving palace aides divided and in some cases, deeply unsettled.
Meghan, who once declared she wanted to “hit the ground running” even before marrying Prince Harry, reportedly stunned Palace staff with her bold confidence.
“She was a great believer in grabbing the bull by the horns, except the Royal Family is not really a bull,” one former aide told Quinn, according to Daily Mail.
Another added bluntly, “Meghan thought she knew better than an institution that has been in business for 1,000 years and more.” Her early meetings, according to insiders, were described as awkward, with Meghan seen trying to lead rather than listen.
The book also claims Meghan’s high expectations of staff and desire to modernise led some within Kensington Palace to label her the “Duchess of Difficult,” while others more fondly referred to her as the “Duchess of Different” for her change-driven approach.
Meghan’s behaviour was seen by some insiders as indicative of a “messiah complex,” citing her ambition to become “the best known and most loved member of the Royal Family”, reported The Sun.
Quinn’s sources claim Meghan believed she could “finish what Diana started,” echoing her and Harry’s desire to become transformative figures, a sentiment backed by author Tina Brown, who wrote in ‘The Palace Papers’ that the couple were “drunk on a shared fantasy of being instruments of global transformation.”
However, palace tradition stood in stark contrast to Meghan’s assertive style.
According to one ex-aide quoted by the Daily Mail, “you don’t do as you please, you do as you’re told.” The late Queen had reportedly assigned trusted allies like Sophie, Duchess of Edinburgh and Lady Susan Hussey to help Meghan, but they were said to have been rebuffed.
Palace staff, accustomed to a slower, more deferential approach, like that taken by Princess Kate, were reportedly rattled by Meghan’s rapid attempts to shake things up. “Kate slowly and carefully absorbed the atmosphere… Meghan jumped in straight away,” one courtier noted.
Though her critics were vocal, Meghan had supporters too.
She was seen by some junior staff as articulate, passionate and an advocate for causes like gender equality, clean water and human rights. But friction over her leadership style reportedly led to a “swirling rumour, gossip and backbiting” culture, with some staff forming the “Sussex Survivors Club”, according to Daily Mail.
Despite Meghan and Harry’s legal team denying bullying allegations, calling them a “calculated smear campaign”, a 2021 Palace investigation was launched but never publicly disclosed.
Meghan later addressed the issue in Harry’s memoir Spare, insisting they had submitted a 25-page rebuttal to HR. “Meg was apparently a bully, that was the latest vicious campaign they’d helped orchestrate,” Harry wrote.
The scrutiny followed Meghan across the Atlantic. In 2024, The Hollywood Reporter published damning claims that she “belittles” staff and “marches around like a dictator in high heels,” while Vanity Fair revealed claims of emotional burnout among her podcast staff.
Still, for all the drama, some believe Meghan achieved what she set out to do, forge her own path. But, perhaps her royal chapter might have unfolded differently if she had “taken a leaf out of Kate’s book and taken things slower”, according to the Sun.
Either way, as Quinn concludes, “it doesn’t look like she will get another chance.”